Saturday, March 11, 2017

When You Come to Serve the Lord Part II: Reflections on Sirach 2

"Set your heart right and be steadfast,
  and do not be hasty in time of calamity."
-Sirach 2:2


When It Rains, It Pours

Do you ever feel like Satan and the world is somehow conspiring against you? I recently felt this way.  My wife, Meghan, and I spent quite a bit a time over Christmas vacation planning out how we were going to budget our time, money, and energy in this new year.  Promptly after returning from visiting her family in Minnesota, we learned we needed a new radiator in our minivan.  Soon after this, we received an unexpected, and somewhat threatening notice from our children's dentist stating that we owed a large sum of money.  In addition, our upstairs tub was leaking into our living room.  And, as if to taunt me and drive me over the edge, the door on one of the kitchen cabinets broke off.  I took a picture of this (see above) because I felt it symbolized my life at that moment. So much for balancing our budget and digging out of our mountain of debt! Meanwhile, at church I was dealing with the anxiety of ensuring that our RCIA Candidates and Catechumens were prepared for the upcoming rite while simultaneously juggling all my other responsibilities and the ongoing drama of life in ministry.

As one who is already predisposed to anxiety, you can imagine I was nearing my breaking point.  Fortunately, I had "my heart right" with the Lord, and was therefore able to persevere through this "calamity."  Blessed John Henry Newman spoke of prayer as "heart speaking to heart."  The heart represents the very core of a person's being.  Through my prayer and reception of the Sacraments, my goal is to receive God's life and love, his very heart, into my soul so I can transmit that to others.  If I am not centered in this love, I might as well walk away from ministry because I am going to be blown over by the storms that come with this calling.  Prayer also allows God to remind me not to be hasty in my decisions, but to allow God to show me the right path in his time.  It was through this prayer, especially Eucharistic Adoration, that I was able to trust that Jesus would work out everything in the midst of the chaos.  I have often referred to being in Adoration likened to being in the eye of a hurricane--there is tremendous peace there even though the world may be in chaos around you.

He's Got My Back 

As I kept my eyes fixed on Jesus during this time, he took care of these problems.  A refund check arrived in the mail from our mortgage company stating that we were overpaying taxes and that our monthly payment would be reduced.  Soon after this, possibilities for earning additional income opened up for my wife and I.  A friend was able to help me repair my leaking tub and, yes, I repaired the broken cabinet door (it is still a little lopsided, thus continuing the metaphor for my life).  As he always does, God resolved issues at work that were adding to my anxiety.  Finally, he reminded me that I needed to exercise more which has done so much to help reduce stress and anxiety in my life.  

The trials are certain to come for those who serve the Lord.  The question is, will we let them overcome us or will we let our hearts be led to His Heart?  It is only there that we will experience the peace that is found in the eye of the hurricane.


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